Discovering Your Strong-willed Child’s Temperament

Children do not come with an instructional guide or a warning label stating you will be raising a strong willed child. No one is able to predict what kind of temperament a child will have until the child begins to grow and the child’s temperament begins to emerge. Every child has their own unique temperaments or inborn style of behaving. Parenting actions, lifestyles, values or beliefs did not cause your child’s specific temperament as it is innate. While temperament is not directly caused by environmental factors, it does interact with temperament. 

Temperament is not rigid and can be molded and shaped with guidance. Dr. Alexander Thomas and Dr. Stella Chess are the pioneers of temperament research. Through their research they identified nine characteristic temperament traits that are present in all children with vary degrees. The nine traits are:

1. Persistence- Individual differences are shown by how long a child persists or resists the task. Positive of persistence shows strong determination to complete the task, but the downside of persistence is stubbornness. 
2. Intensity- Children react in different level of intensity when they are happy or upset. Some children react in a mild and quiet way, others more intensely. Strong-willed children can be quite dramatic and often react in high levels of intensity.  
3. Regularity- What is your daily routine like? Some children settle into a routine quickly and maintain regular patterns, others show more irregularity. 
4. Distractibility- Some children are able to sustain attention and focus on tasks for longer periods of times, others are not and have a very brief attention span. 
5. Energy and Activity Level- Every child has a varying energy level. Some are energetic and highly active others are more passive. 
6. Sensitivity- Children react differently to different stimuli where some children may react with more intensity than others. For example, some children are more highly sensitive to sensory stimuli, touch, taste, sounds etc. 
7. Adaptability- Some children are able to easily adapt to changes and other children may find it stressful. Transitions from home to school may be difficult for some children. 
8. Reactivity- Some children are able to react to new situations without hesitance or reluctance where others need time to warm up to new situations. 
9. Mood- Every child has their own disposition. Some are happy and positive and others tend to be more negative and cranky. 

Looking at these nine traits should be able to give you an idea of what your child’s temperament looks like. How many difficult to manage traits does the child exhibit?

Check back next week for learning how to motivate your strong-willed child.