Ever Wanted to Get Revenge? Try This Instead

So you’ve been wronged. A friend casually dismissed a goal you set for yourself, or a colleague threw you under the bus, and you feel hurt and angry — maybe you even want payback. Sometimes those negative feelings dissipate over time, but other times they fester and become toxic obsessions.

You know that “letting go” is probably the healthiest move, but wanting revenge is often much more appealing.

But why?

It all starts with our nature, since humans are protective beings, especially when we feel threatened, according to Dr. Robin Gaines Lanzi, professor of health behavior at the University of Alabama at Birmingham.

“If what we care about — whether it’s our children, spouse or other loved ones, our work or some cause that we are passionate about — is harmed or threatened in any way, it is instinctual to want to do something about it,” said Dr. Gaines Lanzi. It’s a primal instinct to want to exact revenge when we’re wronged, she added.