ADHD

How ADHD Can Affect Your Love Life and How to Help

Is ADHD the Third Wheel in Your Love Life?

Couples living with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) may experience unique struggles in their relationships. In fact, as mentioned in the following NY Times article, spouses living with ADHD are more likely to be unsatisfied with their marriage. If this sounds like you, there are fortunately many ways to improve your relationship with proper action plans. Importantly, self-awareness, testing, diagnoses, intervention, and coping strategies can alleviate the relationship struggles brought about from ADHD symptoms.

ADHD is a developmental disorder that affects executive function. That is a fancy way of saying that those with ADHD have an easy time focusing on exciting immediately gratifying tasks and a difficult time focusing on mundane tasks that require a delay in gratification. In the exciting “honeymoon phase” of relationships, ADHD symptoms are less of a hurdle because the romance is young and exciting. However, for long-term relationships, ADHD can make it difficult to organize tasks, perform house chores, and remember events. Those with ADHD have higher chance of lacking some key interpersonal skills that may be important for communicating effectively with your spouse. In addition, when raising children with a spouse, the stakes and responsibilities can be even higher.

What makes things even more difficult is that ADHD often goes undiagnosed and unmanaged in adults. Couples that are actively aware of their situation and take proactive steps to cope with symptoms have much happier and successful relationships than those who are not self aware. That is why it is so important to get proper testing performed for an accurate diagnosis. From there, a smart plan of action can be made.

At Pathways Associates, we are here to help with experts in ADHD diagnosis and management.

Once acknowledgement and diagnosis are made, couples can work on coping strategies together. For instance, as mentioned in the Times article, some couples have weekly organizational meetings. Other couples divide activities by strengths (for instance, one takes care of bill payments while the other makes sure their children are at events on time). In addition, cognitive behavior therapy, medication, and/or ADHD coaching are proven interventions that work. No matter the path, when both partners work hard at managing ADHD symptoms, regardless if one or both has an ADHD diagnosis, the relationship is more likely to be satisfying and successful. Here at Pathways, we have an expert team eager to provide the resources to help make life with ADHD more productive and enjoyable to benefit your love life.