Parenting a Child With ADHD

Do: Educate Yourself About ADHD 

A great (and immensely important!) starting point for a parent is understanding what ADHD is and what it means to you and your child.  It is important to realize that the behavior of a child with ADHD is a result of a developmental disorder that affects executive functions. He or she cannot just “snap out of it”.

While professional help is very important, here are some good starting books to help you start your education about ADD/ADHD:

“Smart but Stuck: Emotions in Teens and Adults with ADHD” by Thomas E. Brown, PhD

“New ADHD Medication Rules” by Charlers Parker, MD

“ADHD: What Every Parent Needs to Know” by Michael I. Reiff, M.D.

“Nowhere to Hide: Why Kids with ADHD and LD Hate School and What We Can Do About It” by Jerome J. Schultz, Ph.D

“Driven to Distraction” by Ned Hallowell, MD and John Ratey, MD

Dont: be a downer

Being negative can make one lose perspective and overshadow the positives. Tomorrow is always a new day.

Do: be your child’s advocate

It can be tough for a child to realize that he or she may not be meeting expectations.

Your child needs a proud supporter, one who nourishes and sports the uniqueness and talents. Believe in your child and fight for your child’s success, whether it is talking to school administrators or tutor.

Dont: be militant and take everything personally

Most children will protest and talk back to their parents. While strict limits and discipline must be employed, too harsh of an effort to mute your child can be damaging. This can suppress the spirit and will of a vibrant child. Make sure to set reasonable limits when it comes to disciplining behavior and focus much more on positive attention and positive reinforcement.

Do: trust your child to make choices

Provide opportunities for your child to make choices. This will provide a sense of independence while teaching the value of decisions and consequences. For instance, you can ask your child “would you rather start your HW now or practice your guitar first?”

Don’t: lose control over relationship with child and stay calm

While a child with ADHD may act disorderly, a parent must never lose their grip and authority. Do not be intimidated just because you may feel overwhelmed or frustrated. Patience can be a virtue, but it is ultimately up to the parent to make the rules for acceptable behavior. Try to be accommodating and flexible but make sure to set personal parenting limits of what is “crossing the line.”

Do: Promote Patience

Having ADHD can be very frustrating. Make sure your child understands that success is gradual. Help set incremental goals such as “high marks on the next three English tests” before jumping to grander goals. Over time, the bar can be set increasingly higher.

In addition, set up an organized household with limited distractions. It is beneficial to have a quiet space that is neat and free of messes and distractions such as television and video games. This organization will set good example and reduce any additional burdens a student with ADHD may encounter with unnecessary disorder.

Don’t: Try to fix everything at once 

Parenting a child with ADHD is a marathon, not a sprint. Personal time for yourself can be extremely beneficial in preventing “burnout.” Relax. Go to the gym. Go on a walk. Get proper sleep. The better mindset you are in, the better job you will do parenting. Be confident in yourself and in your child. Positive change will come with gradual persistence.

Do: focus on the basics and set rewards!

Exercise, sleep, and a healthy diet are key ingredients for improved behavior. Poor sleep, poor nutrition, and insufficient exercise can make ADHD symptoms worse. Recreational sports, family hikes, and routine bedtimes are all good ideas. Set a good example!

In addition, make sure your child is rewarded for positive steps in right direction. Children with ADHD are highly sensitive to cognitive reward responses. Positive feedback can reinforce good behavior. For instance, you can make a marble jar that is filled with a marble for each high test mark, positive teacher review, etc. Once the jar is filled, you can reward your child with an agreed upon prize.

Do: seek expert help

Dr. Gordon is an experienced ADHD expert. He is devoted to helping you learn more about ADHD and find solutions for each individual’s need!

The Pathways team of professionals has helped thousands of people with brain injuries. We are Dedicated to effective and compassionate care for individuals with neurological challenges.