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Consequences of an Overreacting Parent

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Do you overreact to your child with ADHD?

  • Yelling at your child
  • Mocking or embarrassing your child
  • Giving harsh or sudden punishments
  • Ignoring your child
  • Lecturing your child
  • Telling your child that he/she will not succeed in life
  • Calling your child names (brat, pest, etc.)

If you do any of the above, you may be overreacting to your child’s behavior. This does not mean that you are the cause of his/her behavior or that your parenting is bad; however, it may mean that you are setting your child up for underachievement.

Effects of Overreacting:

Overreacting makes your child feel hopeless. Children who are highly distractible do not improve their behavior when they feel pressure from their parents. Feeling hopeless also leads to lack of motivation. Children may not understand the concept of “hopelessness” and may instead describe this feeling as being tired, bored, or mad. Overreacting can also make your child feel unloved. Children may think that you no longer believe in them or that you care more about the work they get done than about them. Of course, it is your love that is driving these overreactions, but a child does not view it this way. Reacting strongly can also teach your children to react strongly as well. If you misbehave as a parent, children notice this hypocrisy and learn to overreact as well.

Contact Dr. Gordon for help with your ADHD. We have treatment and solutions available online, by phone, and in our offices.

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written by:
 Brianna Malinowski, 
Jay Gordon, Ph.D

Bernstein, J. (2007). 10 days to a less distracted child: The breakthrough program that gets your kids to listen, learn, focus, and behave. New York: Marlowe & Company.
Photo retrieved from: http://www.thestar.com/life/2013/08/19/being_controlled_by_husbands_anger_no_help_to_woman_fighting_cancer_ellie.html on Aug. 23, 2015

ADHD Tips - ADHD coaching

ADHD Coaching vs. ADHD Therapy

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Coaching is used at Dr. Gordon’s office to help manage ADHD. ADHD Coaching is similar to therapy in many ways. Both are centered around having regular conversations and open-ended questions with the client. Both also support the client through a situation by utilizing the client’s strengths and providing a trusting partnership. However, there are some important differences between coaching and therapy.

Coaching

Therapy
Clients improve through goal-setting, actions, and gaining self-awareness. Clients improve through self-understanding, acceptance, and occasionally through goal-setting.
Works with clients whose mental health issues are under control. Works with clients in an attempt to better manage their mental health.
Focus is on issues beyond mental health Focus is on mental health
Does not make a diagnosis Diagnoses and treats
Works mainly with external issues (organization, time management) Works mainly with internal issues (emotions)

If a client desires coaching but does not have his/her mental health under control, it is recommended that he/she first seeks therapy. This is because the person may lack the psychological capacity to be successful with coaching.

Contact Dr. Gordon for help with your ADHD. We have treatment and solutions available online, by phone, and in our offices.

Get Started

written by:
 Brianna Malinowski, 
Jay Gordon, Ph.D

Sleeper-Triplett, J. (2010). Empowering youth with ADHD: Your guide to coaching adolescents and young adults for coaches, parents, and professionals. Plantation, Fla: Specialty Press, Inc.

 

Keep Track of ADHD Medication

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When beginning a new ADHD medication or a different dosage of medication, it can be difficult to notice changes unless you actively think of them. Using the chart below can help keep track of how your ADHD medication is working and/or giving you side effects.

Medication name:                               Dose:
ADHD Symptom

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Day 4
Impulsivity Rating (1-3) Rating (1-3) Rating (1-3) Rating (1-3)
Distractibility
Procrastination
Trouble Focusing
Restlessness
Rating: 1- not improved, 2-slightly improved, 3-significantly improved

Contact Dr. Gordon for help with your ADHD. We have treatment and solutions available online, by phone, and in our offices.

Get Started

written by:
 Brianna Malinowski, 
Jay Gordon, Ph.D

Ratey, N. A. (2008). The disorganized mind: Coaching your ADHD brain to take control of your time, tasks, and talents. New York: St. Martin’s Griffin.

Learning Your ADHD Child’s Triggers | ADHD evaluations | ADHD Coach Toms River New Jersey

Organization Tips

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For young people, staying organized in school is essential. But things can easily get disorganized with papers from different classes, take-home notices, homework, and trash. Here are some tips for keeping organized for school and home:

  • Label everything! Label each notebook and textbook with the subject name. Use color-coding to further distinguish different school materials. A green science notebook should match a green book cover, etc. Also include the student’s name in case of losing the items.
  • Do a daily 15-minute cleanup of the child’s room, work, and play area. Limiting the time will keep from overwhelming the child and will also prevent a massive and lengthy cleanup at the end of the week or month.
  • The child should dump his/her entire backpack onto the floor or table in the same spot every day. This helps them find “lost” objects and papers and allows them to sort through their papers and trash from school.
  • Sort through lose papers stuffed into notebooks and textbooks. Should the papers be thrown out? Should they be hole-punched and put into a binder? A binder may be better than a folder as the papers can be easily flipped through and organized into sections.
  • Create a place for important papers. Use a labeled box or office paper trays to save a place for completed tests until they are no longer needed.
  • At the end of the school day, the child should look at his/her planner to make sure that the correct books and papers are brought home for homework and studying.

 

Contact Dr. Gordon for help with your ADHD. We have treatment and solutions available online, by phone, and in our offices.

Get Started

written by:
 Brianna Malinowski, 
Jay Gordon, Ph.D

Sleeper-Triplett, J. (2010). Empowering youth with ADHD: Your guide to coaching adolescents and young adults for coaches, parents, and professionals. Plantation, Fla: Specialty Press, Inc.

Finding the A-N-S-W-E-R

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Accept that you have ADHD and the challenges that come with it. Realize that, as much as you may want it to, your ADHD will not simply disappear. Get to know your ADHD and which problems affect your life the greatest. Your problems must be recognized before they can be helped.

Narrow your focus and work on improving only one or two problems at a time. Narrow your focus by asking yourself: which issues affect my life most often? Remember that trying to tackle too many problems at once is overwhelming and likely to not work well.

Strategize about solving your one or two selected difficulties. There is no one method that will help every person with ADHD. Try to find your own strategy that works for you and realize that finding a good strategy may take some time. Don’t just focus on your weaknesses that need changing; focus on your strengths that can lead to a successful strategy!

Work through your strategy. Commit 100% to your chosen strategy and keep up your effort! This means overcoming obstacles, failures, and frustrations that come with any life change.

Evaluate your plan and judge how well your strategy is working. Perhaps, the strategy is not working as planned. In this case, you must ask yourself which parts of the plan are not working and which parts are working. Modify your strategy according to your answers to these questions.

Repeat your strategy that has been working.  ADHD is a problem that follows you throughout a lifetime, so your strategies may need to be implemented for a long time as well. After reaching success, the last thing you want is to go back to your old ways.

Of course, the A-N-S-W-E-R method of improving ADHD is easier said than done, which is where ADHD coaching is a huge help.

Contact Dr. Gordon for help with your ADHD. We have treatment and solutions available online, by phone, and in our offices.

Get Started

written by:
 Brianna Malinowski, 
Jay Gordon, Ph.D

Ratey, N. A. (2008). The disorganized mind: Coaching your ADHD brain to take control of your time, tasks, and talents. New York: St. Martin’s Griffin.

 

ADHD Tips - ADHD coaching

How does ADHD Coaching Help?

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Create “Good Stress”
People with ADHD often require a feeling of stress in order to achieve goals. This is because the stress and sense of urgency of a deadline forces them to complete tasks. For this reason, ADHD coaching helps clients create their own “good stress.” By creating deadlines, schedules, and check-ins, clients learn to manipulate their stress level in order to finish tasks.

Decrease Negativity
A person with ADHD may feel guilty and ashamed of the difficulty they cause to themselves and others. Many people live with ADHD as their main identity. Coaching helps to rid of this negative identity. Always remember: you are NOT your ADHD.

Stay Motivated
It is a myth that people with ADHD lack motivation. Coaching helps people to realize their motivation and past success. This leads to higher self-confidence and continued success.

Know Yourself and Make Changes
An important factor in coaching is to teach clients to recognize their own behavior. With ADHD, clients must recognize their actions in order to notice when they are getting off track. Self-monitoring also helps to tune out distractions and increase attention.

Among other benefits, ADHD coaching helps to strengthen time management and organizational skills as well as build self-esteem and acceptance.

Contact Dr. Gordon for help with your ADHD. We have treatment and solutions available online, by phone, and in our offices.

Get Started

written by:
 Brianna Malinowski, 
Jay Gordon, Ph.D

Ratey, N. A. (2008). The disorganized mind: Coaching your ADHD brain to take control of your time, tasks, and talents. New York: St. Martin’s Griffin.

What Causes ADHD?

Heritability of ADHD

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ADHD very clearly runs in families. In fact, over 25% of immediate family members (mothers, fathers, siblings) of children with ADHD also have ADHD. Studies with twins also confirm the heritability of ADHD. If one identical twin has ADHD, there is a 75-90% risk that the other twin will have ADHD as well. For fraternal twins, the risk is less profound, but still 6 to 10 times greater than among unrelated children.
Genes contribute much more greatly to ADHD than do environmental factors. The number of genes involved in inheriting ADHD is still unclear as scientists continue to study the human genome. Thus far, specifically, 9 genes may be related to ADHD. The DRD4 gene is often longer in people with ADHD. This gene is related to novelty seeking, which means that the person requires more dopamine in order to be stimulated. Therefore, the person with a long DRD4 gene may be more likely to take risks, act impulsively, and experience restlessness. The DAT1 gene may also contribute to symptoms of ADHD. This gene is also longer in people with ADHD and helps control dopamine levels in the body.
Parents should not feel blame or accept blame from others for their child’s genetically inherited disorder. Like inheriting the genes for height or eye color, this is something that is out of a parent’s control.

Contact Dr. Gordon for help with your ADHD. We have treatment and solutions available online, by phone, and in our offices.

Get Started

written by:
 Brianna Malinowski, 
Jay Gordon, Ph.D

Barkley, R. A. (2013). Taking charge of ADHD: The complete, authoritative guide for parents (3rd ed.). New York: The Guilford Press.

Picture retrieved on August 3, 2015 from: https://www.michaeljfox.org/foundation/news-detail.php?nih-finds-genes-that-may-be-new-parkinson-therapy-targets

 

Parenting Pointers – Children with ADHD

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Dr. Russell Barkley stresses the importance of practicing “scientific parenting.” Much like scientists, parents of children with ADHD must be open and critical to new information. The following points describe the steps you need to take in order to be a scientific parent.

  • It’s okay to be uncertain. No one, including professionals, has the perfect guide to parenting a child with ADHD. Keep an open mind regarding information about ADHD or you may miss out on useful information.
  • Gain knowledge about ADHD. After admitting your uncertainty about parenting a child with ADHD, make a point to seek knowledge. Read the books, read the blogs, and ask questions! Knowing as much as possible about ADHD and learning from others’ mistakes will prepare you for the journey of raising your child.
  • Be critical of information. In other words, don’t believe everything you hear or read about ADHD. Reading opinions and other people’s experiences may be useful to you, but only professionals and credible sources can be truly trusted.
  • Try new things and don’t give up! Don’t be afraid to try new parenting methods if your old ways aren’t working. Experiment and do not be discouraged if the method fails. Failure will lead you in the direction towards success.

Contact Dr. Gordon for help with your ADHD. We have treatment and solutions available online, by phone, and in our offices.

Get Started

written by:
 Brianna Malinowski, 
Jay Gordon, Ph.D

Barkley, R. A. (2013). Taking charge of ADHD: The complete, authoritative guide for parents (3rd ed.). New York: The Guilford Press.

Picture retrieved August 3, 2015 from: http://renewconnectenjoy.com/workshops/

 

ADHD Tips - ADHD coaching

ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)

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Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) is commonly comorbid, or simultaneously occurring with ADHD. ODD is a problem that first becomes noticeable in the preschool years or during early adolescence. The following information discusses the symptoms and criteria needed for a diagnosis of ODD. Please remember that not all people with ADHD have ODD and vice versa; however, the two commonly occur together.

Of the following list of symptoms, at least 4 must be present for at least 6 months to be diagnosed with ODD. The behaviors must also occur with at least one person who is not a sibling. For children under the age of 5, the behaviors should occur on most days for at least 6 months. For those over 5, the behaviors should occur at least once per week for at least 6 months in order to be diagnosed with ODD. These symptoms must cause distress to oneself or others in close social contact with the person, or it must negatively impact areas of functioning such as school, work, or social situations.

Symptoms:

  1. Loses temper often.
  2. Easily annoyed or often touchy
  3. Frequently angry or resentful
  4. Often argues with figures of authority, such as adults
  5. Actively defies authority figures and/or rules
  6. Annoys others on purpose
  7. Blames others for his or her misbehavior or mistakes.
  8. Has been spiteful or vindictive 2 times within the past 6 months.
  • If symptoms occur only in one setting (school, home, work, social environment) ODD may be categorized as mild.
  • If symptoms occur in 2 settings, ODD may be moderate.
  • If symptoms occur in 3 or more settings, ODD may be considered severe.

If you believe that you or a loved one may be struggling with ADHD and/or ODD, please contact Dr. Gordon today!

 

Contact Dr. Gordon for help with your ADHD. We have treatment and solutions available online, by phone, and in our offices.

Get Started

written by:
 Brianna Malinowski, 
Jay Gordon, Ph.D

American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders: DSM-5.

 

ADHD Tips - ADHD coaching

ADHD and Stereotype Threat

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Stereotype threat is a very commonly researched phenomenon that affects people’s performance on tests and other evaluated tasks. Stereotype threat occurs when a member of a stereotyped group is evaluated on a task on which society believes they should not perform well. The member of the group is distracted and self-conscious about his or her performance due to the stereotype. For example, in a society that believes girls are not good at math, a girl may become distracted and discouraged during a math test, and therefore earn a low grade. This, in turn, confirms the stereotype.

Research about stereotype threat tends to focus on race and gender; only few studies have examined the existence of stereotype threat for people with ADHD. Since ADHD is strongly related to academic underachievement, students with ADHD often view themselves as less capable of performing well on tests than their peers. Belonging to a group that typically does not perform well on tests could cause those with ADHD to be at risk for stereotype threat. Research finds that students with ADHD are at risk!

Some participants were part of the “stereotype threat group” in which stereotype threat was evoked by reminding them of the stereotypes of ADHD. These participants with ADHD were reminded of their diagnosis as well as reminded that people with ADHD tend to not perform well on tests. Their scores on a GRE test were lower than their peers with ADHD who were not reminded of their diagnosis and stereotype. This suggests that when people with ADHD are reminded of their poor academic performance stereotype, they are at risk of underperforming on evaluated tasks.

What can we do to prevent stereotype threat? 

It is important to not remind people with ADHD of their stereotypes, especially before an exam. Having a role model who has proven the stereotype to be false is also encouraging for people with ADHD. Additionally, getting help for ADHD and gaining test-taking skills can give students the confidence to perform well on tests. Of course, the biggest goal would be to reduce and eliminate the stereotype that people with ADHD always perform poorly on tests.
Contact Dr. Gordon for help with your ADHD. We have treatment and solutions available online, by phone, and in our offices.

Get Started

written by:
 Brianna Malinowski, 
Jay Gordon, Ph.D

Foy, S. L. (2015). Challenges from and beyond symptomatology: Stereotype threat in young adults with ADHD. Journal of Attention Disorders, 19(7), 1-12. doi:10.1177/1087054715590159