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Using a Home Point System

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Setting up a point system for your child may be an effective way to both increase good behavior and properly and consistently reward this good behavior. An example of a point system is provided below.
It is important to modify this example to fit your own life. You may also wish to target behaviors that your child needs improvement in (completing homework, brushing teeth, etc.) and to modify the rewards based on your child’s interests (video games, playing outside, special food, etc.). Points can be tallied by the parent or can be represented physically using tokens (coins, bingo chips, etc.). As listed below, the child is rewarded with points for each task that he/she completes. Later, the child may “pay for” certain rewards using the points earned.

point system for helping adhd behavior

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written by:
 Brianna Malinowski, 
Jay Gordon, Ph.D

Barkley, R. (2013). Taking charge of ADHD: The complete, authoritative guide for parents (Third ed.). New York, NY: The Guilford Press.
Picture retrieved from: https://www.etsy.com/listing/152852009/100-vintage-multicolored-plastic-bingo on Sept. 24, 2015

Investigating the Father-Child Relationship

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Mothers often comment that their child with ADHD behaves better with his/her father. Children with ADHD do tend to be less negative and more likely to stay on task when with their fathers rather than with their mothers. The cause of this interaction is unclear but may be due to a few explanations.
Oftentimes, the mother stays at home more than the father, resulting in the mother assuming the role of disciplinarian. Of course the child will have a more stressed relationship with the disciplinarian of the household. Another explanation resides in the manner in which males and females communicate disapproval. Mothers are more likely to express disapproval of her child’s actions through verbal explanations, which may not resonate with children whose ADHD limits their language skills.  Fathers, on the other hand, are more apt to express disapproval with immediate punishment and fewer verbal explanations, which may lead to better parent-child compliance. Also, the typically larger and more imposing size of the father may elicit better behavior from a child.
Due to this difference in behavior, many fathers believe that the mothers have a problem with disciplining the child as apposed to the child having disciplinary problems. Usually, if the father begins to take responsibility for the daily management of the child, the family begins to realize that the issue of noncompliance is not directed toward one specific parent or gender.

Contact Dr. Gordon for help with your ADHD. We have treatment and solutions available online, by phone, and in our offices.

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written by:
 Brianna Malinowski, 
Jay Gordon, Ph.D

Barkley, R. A. (2013). Taking Charge of ADHD: The Complete, Authoritative Guide for Parents. New York, NY: Guilford Publications.
Image retrieved from: http://cliparts.co/father-and-child-images on Sept. 9, 2015

Talking to the Teacher

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School is overwhelming with distractions for children with ADHD. Your child’s teacher is most likely not specially trained in assisting children with ADHD. Here are some ideas that you, as a parent, can communicate to your child’s teacher in order to help them succeed:

  1. Ask the teacher for an extra set of textbooks to be kept at home. Despite effort to remember, many distractible students forget to bring home their proper materials.
  2. Encourage the teacher to seat your child near the front and center of the classroom. This should not be done in an embarrassing or punishing way. Instead, seat him/her in the front using a “random” seat assignment. This way, there are not many students in front of the child to distract him/her.
  3. Communicate your child’s strengths to the teacher. If your child learns better by creating mnemonics or rhymes or by visual learning, the teacher may be able to tweak the lesson to help.
  4. Ask for extra feedback on your child’s behavior. Feedback should be given to the student and to the parent via email or take-home messages. Remind the teacher that children with ADHD especially need to celebrate their progress often.
  5. Tell the teacher that directions should be repeated and written for your child. Oftentimes, when the directions are stated once, they go in one ear and out the other. Repeating gives your child a second chance to catch the directions. Writing directions on the board or assignment gives your child the opportunity to look back at the directions as much as needed.
  6. Encourage the teacher to ask you for help! Express to the teacher that you realize that he or she is not an expert on ADHD. The teacher may have questions for you or for your child about what he or she can do to help. Also, if a school psychologist or guidance counselor is available, remind the teacher that help can be obtained from these resources as well.
  7. Ask if your child can share notes with another student. Taking notes quickly is difficult for students with ADHD. By sharing notes, your child can get the information that he/she missed during class.
  8. Ask for extra time on tests and quizzes. Even if your child does not meet the legal criteria for receiving extra time, the teacher may be willing to provide it regardless.
  9. Ask the teacher to set up a buddy system in which each student has a few phone numbers of classmates in the case of forgotten homework assignments.

Remember that the more you help the teacher understand your child, the more he/she can help your child!
Contact Dr. Gordon for help with your ADHD. We have treatment and solutions available online, by phone, and in our offices.

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written by:
 Brianna Malinowski, 
Jay Gordon, Ph.D

Bernstein, J. (2007). 10 days to a less distracted child: The breakthrough program that gets your kids to listen, learn, focus, and behave. New York: Marlowe & Company.

Photo retrieved from: http://www.longislandeyedoctor.com/2014/04/vision-therapy-kids-failing-school/ on Aug. 24, 2015

Consequences of an Overreacting Parent

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Do you overreact to your child with ADHD?

  • Yelling at your child
  • Mocking or embarrassing your child
  • Giving harsh or sudden punishments
  • Ignoring your child
  • Lecturing your child
  • Telling your child that he/she will not succeed in life
  • Calling your child names (brat, pest, etc.)

If you do any of the above, you may be overreacting to your child’s behavior. This does not mean that you are the cause of his/her behavior or that your parenting is bad; however, it may mean that you are setting your child up for underachievement.

Effects of Overreacting:

Overreacting makes your child feel hopeless. Children who are highly distractible do not improve their behavior when they feel pressure from their parents. Feeling hopeless also leads to lack of motivation. Children may not understand the concept of “hopelessness” and may instead describe this feeling as being tired, bored, or mad. Overreacting can also make your child feel unloved. Children may think that you no longer believe in them or that you care more about the work they get done than about them. Of course, it is your love that is driving these overreactions, but a child does not view it this way. Reacting strongly can also teach your children to react strongly as well. If you misbehave as a parent, children notice this hypocrisy and learn to overreact as well.

Contact Dr. Gordon for help with your ADHD. We have treatment and solutions available online, by phone, and in our offices.

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written by:
 Brianna Malinowski, 
Jay Gordon, Ph.D

Bernstein, J. (2007). 10 days to a less distracted child: The breakthrough program that gets your kids to listen, learn, focus, and behave. New York: Marlowe & Company.
Photo retrieved from: http://www.thestar.com/life/2013/08/19/being_controlled_by_husbands_anger_no_help_to_woman_fighting_cancer_ellie.html on Aug. 23, 2015

Learning Your ADHD Child’s Triggers | ADHD evaluations | ADHD Coach Toms River New Jersey

Organization Tips

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For young people, staying organized in school is essential. But things can easily get disorganized with papers from different classes, take-home notices, homework, and trash. Here are some tips for keeping organized for school and home:

  • Label everything! Label each notebook and textbook with the subject name. Use color-coding to further distinguish different school materials. A green science notebook should match a green book cover, etc. Also include the student’s name in case of losing the items.
  • Do a daily 15-minute cleanup of the child’s room, work, and play area. Limiting the time will keep from overwhelming the child and will also prevent a massive and lengthy cleanup at the end of the week or month.
  • The child should dump his/her entire backpack onto the floor or table in the same spot every day. This helps them find “lost” objects and papers and allows them to sort through their papers and trash from school.
  • Sort through lose papers stuffed into notebooks and textbooks. Should the papers be thrown out? Should they be hole-punched and put into a binder? A binder may be better than a folder as the papers can be easily flipped through and organized into sections.
  • Create a place for important papers. Use a labeled box or office paper trays to save a place for completed tests until they are no longer needed.
  • At the end of the school day, the child should look at his/her planner to make sure that the correct books and papers are brought home for homework and studying.

 

Contact Dr. Gordon for help with your ADHD. We have treatment and solutions available online, by phone, and in our offices.

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written by:
 Brianna Malinowski, 
Jay Gordon, Ph.D

Sleeper-Triplett, J. (2010). Empowering youth with ADHD: Your guide to coaching adolescents and young adults for coaches, parents, and professionals. Plantation, Fla: Specialty Press, Inc.

ADHD Tips - ADHD coaching

ADHD Symptoms Depend on the Situation

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Children with ADHD tend to behave better under these certain circumstances:

1. New and unfamiliar settings. When situations are exciting and new, children with ADHD behave better. This is because boredom, which causes a decrease in behavior control, has not set in. For example, during the first exciting days at school with a new teacher and a new classroom, children with ADHD behave much better than when the school year becomes routine. Boredom during the school day can be reduced by using bright and colorful school materials and textbooks, which may help children with ADHD work better in school.
2. Immediate rewards for behavior. Children with ADHD pay better attention to tasks in which they are given immediate and frequent feedback and rewards.
3. One-on-one attention. Children with ADHD tend to behave better when they interact individually with others. For example, the child may seem less active and impulsive during one-on-one meetings with grandparents or friends. This also means that group situations are a difficult environment for children with ADHD.
4. Tasks in the morning. Children with ADHD often work better in school and on homework in the morning than they do later in the day. Unless a child is on extended-release medication, homework may be completed more efficiently in the morning than in the evening.

Contact Dr. Gordon for help with your ADHD. We have treatment and solutions available online, by phone, and in our offices.

Get Started

written by:
 Brianna Malinowski, 
Jay Gordon, Ph.D

Barkley, R. A. (2013). Taking charge of ADHD: The complete, authoritative guide for parents (3rd ed.). New York: The Guilford Press.

 

 

Parenting Pointers – Children with ADHD

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Dr. Russell Barkley stresses the importance of practicing “scientific parenting.” Much like scientists, parents of children with ADHD must be open and critical to new information. The following points describe the steps you need to take in order to be a scientific parent.

  • It’s okay to be uncertain. No one, including professionals, has the perfect guide to parenting a child with ADHD. Keep an open mind regarding information about ADHD or you may miss out on useful information.
  • Gain knowledge about ADHD. After admitting your uncertainty about parenting a child with ADHD, make a point to seek knowledge. Read the books, read the blogs, and ask questions! Knowing as much as possible about ADHD and learning from others’ mistakes will prepare you for the journey of raising your child.
  • Be critical of information. In other words, don’t believe everything you hear or read about ADHD. Reading opinions and other people’s experiences may be useful to you, but only professionals and credible sources can be truly trusted.
  • Try new things and don’t give up! Don’t be afraid to try new parenting methods if your old ways aren’t working. Experiment and do not be discouraged if the method fails. Failure will lead you in the direction towards success.

Contact Dr. Gordon for help with your ADHD. We have treatment and solutions available online, by phone, and in our offices.

Get Started

written by:
 Brianna Malinowski, 
Jay Gordon, Ph.D

Barkley, R. A. (2013). Taking charge of ADHD: The complete, authoritative guide for parents (3rd ed.). New York: The Guilford Press.

Picture retrieved August 3, 2015 from: http://renewconnectenjoy.com/workshops/

 

ADHD Tips - ADHD coaching

Tokens for Good Behavior

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Token economies have been successful in reinforcing positive behavior in children with ADHD. As the name implies, a token economy involves giving a child a token for each good behavior. These tokens can be in the form of a sticker chart, coins, or anything that physically indicates the child’s good behavior. Be sure to establish a reward for earning a certain number of tokens. Here are some tips for successfully managing a token economy:

  • Begin an economy where, in the beginning the child earns rewards frequently. Over time, the rewards can become less frequent.
  • Make sure the reward is reinforcing to the child. Let the child choose which reward he/she wants to receive upon earning a certain number of tokens.
  • You can take away token for bad behavior. However, the reason for removal of tokens must be clear to the child and consistent.
  • Never remove all tokens or leave the child with a token “debt.” This has been shown to be ineffective.

Contact Dr. Gordon for help with your ADHD. We have treatment and solutions available online, by phone, and in our offices.

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written by:
 Brianna Malinowski, 
Jay Gordon, Ph.D

Reynolds, C., Vannest, K., & Harrison, J. (2012). The Energetic Brain. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.

 

ADHD Tips - ADHD coaching

Cavities in Children with ADHD

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Children with ADHD have a higher prevalence of dental cavities than children without ADHD. Specifically, children with ADHD are nearly 10 times more likely to have decayed, missing, or filled teeth.

Different theories exist as to why these children experience more cavities and worse oral health in general. Behavior may be to blame for these problems. Factors such as not brushing enough, lack of motivation to maintain oral health, and/or parents using sugary rewards for good behavior may contribute to more cavities. One possibility is that ADHD medication often causes xerostomia, or dry mouth, as a side effect. Since saliva serves as the mouth’s natural protection against cavities, lack of saliva may lead to an increased number of cavities.

A 2012 study examined 3 groups of children; one group had ADHD treated with medication, one group had ADHD not treated with medication, the other group consisted of children without ADHD. If medication causes dry mouth, which leads to cavities, then the ADHD group of children treated with medication would have the highest rate of cavities. However, both groups of children with ADHD had more plaque than the children without ADHD. This suggests that medication is not to blame for poor oral health in children with ADHD.

What can you do to prevent cavities for your child with ADHD?

  • Shorter intervals between dental check-ups
  • Reduce sugary foods in diet
  • Monitor children when they brush their teeth
  • Use fluoride rinse after brushing at night
  • Do not eat anything after brushing at night
  • Use 2-minute hourglass timer to encourage longer brush time

 

Contact Dr. Gordon for help with your ADHD. We have treatment and solutions available online, by phone, and in our offices.

Get Started

written by:
 Brianna Malinowski, 
Jay Gordon, Ph.D

Rosenberg, S., Kumar, S., & Williams, N. (2014). Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder medication and dental caries in children. The Journal of Dental Hygiene, 88(6), 342-347.

Sticker Charts!

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A great way to motivate your children to behave well and get their homework and chores done!

A visual reminder of chores and appropriate behaviors is critical for children just as many adults need a to-do list.

  1. Create a chart listing all chores and behaviors that your child should complete by the end of the day.
  2. Add stickers under each completed chore either at the end of the day or immediately following the chore. Let your child pick out the stickers in order to add to his/her excitement of receiving them.
  3. After a certain number of stickers are earned, reward your child!Many children love to earn the privilege of going to a store and choosing their own toy, for example. Other reward ideas include choosing a movie to watch, choosing a restaurant for dinner, or inviting over a friend each month. Make sure your child knows the rules and rewards for the sticker chart before starting so that he/she is motivated to behave well. Keep the chart somewhere your child can easily see it, such as on his/her bedroom door.Here is an example of a sticker chart for you to use as a model for your own:

adhd sticker chart
Contact Dr. Gordon for help with your ADHD. We have treatment and solutions available online, by phone, and in our offices.

Get Started

written by:
 Brianna Malinowski, 
Jay Gordon, Ph.D